Recently, I've been questioning who and what I am. I know that I am ambitious and a Godly man, however; am I kind? Thats a big question thats been on my heart lately. Do I have the capacity for kindness, mercy, and compassion. I'm ambitious, persistent, and strong and yet I realize that no matter how strong my desire to be a great man, i've forgotten that kindness, and the capacity for love are the most important aspects of a Godly man.
I was watching the end of Evan Almighty today and although the movie isn't the greatest, it does touch upon some pretty interesting and important issues, i think. When asked "God" what do we get when we pray, the "God" says that when we pray for kindness, courage, or whatever, he just doesn't magically zap us with this feeling however, he gives us the opportunity to be kind and couragous. This really hit me and I started to think, has God given me these opportunities? Have I been so blind and consumed with my daily course of actions that I've forgotten to look for the opportunities that God has presented to me?
With the year ending, and my college career slowing coming to a halt, I've started to look back on this year and last and see, how i've grown and how much more i need to grow. I've struggled so hard to reach my dreams and ambitions of law school and a good life, that i feel that i've forgotten the true calling of Christians. To love and be loved.
In Even Almighty, they talked about changing the world through one random act of kindness at a time. This also really hit me because looking back, i've come to realize that I'm not a very kind person. I'm a person who does what is necessary and sufficient to get by. I have taken everything so mechanically that i've forgotten to put my heart into the things around me. So consumed are my goals that I've forgotten why i want to reach those goals. To change the world. I really hope and pray that God can give me the courage, strength and capacity to be able to give kindness and love to those around me, to strangers, to friends, and to family. I pray that God can remind me daily that life is not about the things you do and accomplish, but rather the people you share it with.
I'm excited about the summer and next year, and although i still have a lot of goals that i want to accomplish, I think I'm going to try to spend a little more time on those around me and just love them with all my heart, just as Christ loved me. I really want to find ways to show kindness, actually i need to now knowing what i know. Thanks God for all you've shown me, and I pray that all those around me can come and do the same.
Ed
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